


Agent Double NepNep Nep

by Acoolboy8



Series: Parody Stories [3]
Category: Hyperdimension Neptunia, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga), 俺ツインテールになります | Gonna be the Twin-Tail!! (Anime)
Genre: Agents, Cars, Comedy, Digital Art, Gen, Missions, No Smut, Parody, Sports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-17 05:24:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16510172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acoolboy8/pseuds/Acoolboy8
Summary: Neptune is chosen to become the next Hyperdimension Neptunia agent.





	1. Call Me Agent Double Nep Nep

Cover Art!

 

A girl in a black suit and sunglasses walked into Neptune's home. Neptune was putting clothes into her dryer. The girl sees Neptune and asked her, "Are you Ms Neptune?" She asked. Neptune looked at the girl.

"Yeah." She replied.

"Are you doing Laundry?" The girl asked.

"Yeah." Neptune repeated and a blow dart gets shot into her neck. Neptune gasped and fell down. The girl in question takes Neptune into her garage. She was sitting in a chair, head down on the table. The girl sat across from her. Neptune woke up and felt groggy. She groans.

"Good evening Ms Neptune." The girl greeted.

"Where the heck am I?" Neptune asked and felt dizzy.

"This is just our way to inform you that you have been selected to be the next NEPTUNIA!...agent." The girl told Neptune.

"This is my garage." Neptune said and looked around her huge garage.

"It is. You were too much to handle on my back...and into my mini van. And to be perfectly honest with you? It's hot as shit in there! The damn AC is rubbish!"

"Is this a kidnapping?" Neptune asked.

"Silence! Over the course in the next several months, you should go on top secret missions. Double Nep...NEEEP!"

"What kind of missions?"

"Shhhh! Please...meet my assistant...Kie!" The girl looked to her left and girl with white stood their. Neptune stares at her.

"It's Kei...IF" Said Kei.

"Koi!" IF said.

"No no no...Kei." Kei kept correcting IF.

"Kee!"

"K-E-I....she gets it wrong every time." Kei said looking at Neptune and sighed.

"I'm gonna send you back to the shelter." IF told Kei.

"It's just three letters!" Kei groaned. "Kei."

"Kie!!"

"No it's Kei!"

"Keily. (Burp) The kangaroo ate the baby." IF looked at Neptune.

"Tell her about your back hair." Kei growled. IF pulled out her stick and blows a blow dart into Kei and she falls down.

"Just tell me. What's the point in all this?" Neptune asked and hiccuped.

"Ms Neptune..." IF removed her sunglasses and her eyes were cross eyed. Neptune made a funny face looking at IF in the eyes. "I'm not quite sure what it is you don't understand. You have been selected to be a Neptunia agent. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Now? May I continue?"

"Alright." Neptune said and IF puts her glasses back on. "So uh...why would I do this?"

"I believe the question you should be asking is, why wouldn't you do this?"

"Oh."

"You will go on a series of missions...in order to save Princess Heart." IF held up a paper with the picture of dogoo. It was pink and it had a cute red bow on its head. It also said a $500 reward for finding the missing dogoo.

"Is that it?" Neptune asked.

"Do you have any idea what I could do with 500 dollars!? I could buy a new hamster. Or a fish." IF said and then looks at the fallen Kei. "Keddy?...Kiem?.....She's sleeping."

"You know this sounds fun and all but I don't think I'm interested." Neptune said.

"Double Nep...Neep...did I mention we would be providing you with a sexy car for your missions?"

"I already have a car."

"Oh? Do you?" IF holds up a detonator and pushes the button. A car explodes inside the huge garage.

"Yeah...that was mine." Neptune said.

"Now...do you accept or do you decline?" IF asked.

"Ah why the hell not." Neptune said and accepted the offer.

"Bravo Double Nep...Nep...now...meet your brand new car!" IF said and snaps her fingers and a car crashes into the garage. It was purple and had a white design on it. Neptune was in awe at the car and looks at it.

"Do not touch her!" IF said and Neptune was rubbing her hands on the hood and she even licked the car. She stops and looks at IF. "You must earn her privilege."

"Yo. Tell me some specs."

"This car has glass windows and is equipped with a steering wheel and a rear view mirror." IF said.

"It's a 6 speed?" Neptune looked into the car.

"This car drives forward...and reverse."

"Are these 22's!?" Neptune shouted in awe at the tires.

"Those tires are completely made of rubber." IF said.

"Does it have any special weapons?" Neptune asked.

"No." IF replied bluntly.

"Does it go invincible and stuff like that?"

"Hahahaha..." IF laughed at the question.

"Ok? So what's next? What do I got to do?"

"Double Nep Nep...before you can become a Neptunia Agent? One must train...as a Neptunia Agent." IF replied.

"When am I doing that?"

"Sooner than you think but faster than you are."

"When's that?"

"I. Don't. Know!" IF answered.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Agent Double Nep Nep goes to boot camp!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neptune goes through training with Mana!

It was the next day. Neptune wakes up for day. She yawns and looks at the time. 6:17 AM. She then punched by someone. "Wake up maggot! You wanna be a Neptunia Agent? Well get your ass up and move move move! Let's go!" Neptune soon fell back asleep and Mana had to drag her out. Neptune was on the ground in hot hot sun outside. The woman walks up to Neptune who opens her eyes. "Wake up! How you feeling daisy?"

"Uhhhh I think I ate my tooth." Neptune groaned.

"Good." Said the woman.

"Ohhhhh I can't feel my vagina!" Neptune groaned.

"Oh! You got a real smart cute mouth don't you? Give me 20! Let's go! Move it! Movie it! Movie it! Move it! Move it!" The woman ordered and Neptune started doing push ups. "You listen here Nancy. My name's Master Magician Mana! You wanna be a Neptunia Agent!? You got to follow three simple rules! Rule 1: You keep that car clean! No food or drink inside! You like gummy bears?"

Neptune stops doing push ups and pants. "I love gummy bears." Neptune said. SLAP! Mana slaps Neptune in the face. "OW!"

"Good! Cause I love them to! I loved them ever since I was a little fat kid, shoving them in underwear so the bullies wouldn't take them from me! Bottom line, no gummy bears in the car! Now up on your feet! 20 squats let's go! Go go go go go go go!" Neptune started doing squats as she was ordered to. She was getting tired. "Rule number 2! Obey all traffic safety laws! Green lights! Red lights! Yellow Lights! Watch out for falling rocks! Don't forget to pay the piper! Don't pick a pickle if you can't pay the piper the pickle price. You want park place? You gotta pay the proper price. Sydney gets seashells at the seashore! Rubber baby buggy bumpers! What's another one? And absolutely positively make sure you wear that seat belt at all times! You got that agent double Nep?...Neeeeeeep!"

"Yeah!" Neptune yelled.

"That's yes ma'am to you!" Mana corrected her.

"YES MA'AM! YES MA'AM!" Neptune shouted.

"That's right! Jumping jacks hit it!" Mana ordered and Neptune starts doing jumping jacks. "And lastly, rule number 3: Punch this nice girl in the face." Mana said and pointed her thumb at a young girl. It was  **Peashy**. Neptune is stunned by the question and stops moving.

"Excuse me? What?"

"Punch this kid in the face!" Mana repeated.

"Why?" Neptune asked. Mana gets close to Neptune and their faces are inches away from one another. Mana starts whispering to her.

"Look...I feel really bad...about what I did to you this morning...so I just thought this might be like a good compensation gift...to make up for it. So..."

"I understand you're just doing you're job." Neptune said.

"I mean, she's a nice girl so she doesn't really care. It's like I punch her all the time. And she's like totally cool with it...so."

"Um who is she?" Neptune looked at Peashy, who just had a happy look on her face.

"I don't really know, I kinda like bought her. She's she's mine...I mean right now I just call her...nice girl...she's doesn't have a tongue so..."

"I'd feel very bad though...I'm alright."

"I mean it's your choice." Said Mana.

"I-I-I understand...ma'am." 

"Ok. Alright. Man just it's you know..it's your life...you know? You're halfway there." Mana turns around and punches Peashy in the face. She goes down hard and is knocked out. Mana kept walking away from Neptune, who looked at the fallen girl. "Alright obstacle course training! This is gonna test you physically...mentally...(middle finger) And physically!" Mana said and turns around and points at Neptune. "Are you ready double agent Nep!" Mana gags silently and looks down. "I swallowed a bug." Neptune walks to Mana and she saw her car infront of them. "First! You're gonna use that squeegee to clean off all that fat free strawberry yogurt that I had for my balance breakfast this morning! Then! I want you to enter the back seat. Where you're gonna remove all the trash from the biggest shithole mess that you've ever seen!" Neptune nods. "Thirdly! Proceed to the driver's seat. Where you gonna turn up the AC to exactly precisely! 73 degrees! That's the temperature I like my hot dogs! And you're gonna proceed to the back trunk! Where you're gonna find the ignition key. Put on you safety belt, start the car, release the emergency break and put it into first gear and drive through the finish line! You got 90 seconds! Before I detonate this hand grenade! You got one chance and one chance only!"

Neptune gets into a running position. Mana held up her hand like a gun sign. "Ready!? Set!" BANG! Mana shoots a pistol out of her finger tips and Neptune starts running to the car to weird music in the background. Neptune uses the squeegee and cleans her car with it. She opens the back seat and gasped at the trash. She carries it to the trash can. Mana roared at her to keep going. Neptune ran back to the car and got into the drivers seat to set the AC to 73 degrees. She opens the back trunk and found a sponge, a balloon, the keys and a sword. She looks at them and then gets the keys and enters the driver's seat again and puts her seat belt on and tried to use the key...but no hole. She presses the engine button and the car starts. She drives to the finish line as Mana shakes her head. Neptune stops the car and gets out and looks at Mana.

"Did I make it?" She asked.

"You were 10 seconds over the 90 second time limit!...you are never! Gonna be a Neptunia Ag-" BOOM! The grenade explodes and Mana was gone. Neptune covers herself and looked at the car keys and then got back into the car and drives away. A screen opens up and it was IF.

"Uni! Put that down! You're not ready for that!" IF said and then looks at her screen. "Excellent work on your training Agent Double NepNep...Nep."

"Thanks?"

"You are now a NEPTUNIA AGENT!"

"Yes!"

"Are you ready for your first mission?" IF asked.

"I'm ready!"

"Good!" IF smiled.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Racing Betch!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neptune goes for her first mission.

Neptune was driving her car and a video of the main villain appeared on the screen inside the car. "Hello agent double NepNep. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Dr. Love Heart. And I think I have something that perhaps you are looking for. Hahahahahaha." The woman in a disguise held up the dog that IF told Neptune to find. "If you do not complete the missions that I have laid out for you? I will turn Princess Heart into Boeing 747, don't ask how. I just will. Hahahahahaha!" The video cuts back to IF.

"Double NepNep...Neeeep. Do you now see what you're up against?" IF asked.

"What was that?" The agent asked.

"She goes by the name Dr Love Heart. A sadistic woman. She's been selling weapons on the black market for years! She is an evil evil woman. And now she is holding Princess Heart hostage."

"So now what?"

"Roll the rest of the tape, Una!" IF said to her left. The video comes back up with Dr Love Heart.

"I have Princess Heart. If you want to get her back, the first thing you must do is beat my record of a minute and 27 seconds at the castle raceway. If you pass I will give a clue on Princess Heart's whereabouts. And if you fail!? I will turn her into a doggy door! She's already a doggy. All I have to do is make her...a door. Mwahahahaha!...she's very cute." The video ends.

Neptune at the castle raceway and it was hot as hell today. "Hey I'm here."

"Good."

"It's sunny as shit." Neptune complained and used her hands to block the sunlight in her eyes.

"Now, let's get you into something a little more racy." Said IF.

"Ok."

"In the trunk you will find your racing attire. Suit up and hit the road." IF smirked and Neptune goes to trunk and opens it and sees her attire. She puts it on and walked to her car and saw three girls hanging out together. Neptune nodded at them and they were looking at Neptune funny. Neptune got back into her car and was at the starting line.

"How do you feel Double NepNep...Neeep?" IF asked.

"Feeling uh a little too sexy." Neptune replied.

"You look fantastic!" IF said and blushed.

"Who picked this outfit out?" Neptune looked down at her self and the outfit was revealing.

"My grandmother wore it during the Hyperdimension Civil War against the Rebel Goddesses using nothing but a baseball bat...and a head of lettuce." IF said.

"What?" Neptune was confused.

"Remember double NepNep...you must beat Dr Love Heart's track time of 1 minuted and 27 seconds."

"Alright."

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah I'm ready."

"I can't hear you."

"Yeah I'm ready!"

"3...2...1 Go!" IF said and Neptune started driving the course. IF tells Neptune to go faster and she speeds up. "TURN THE WHEEL!"

"Oh crap!" Neptune and turns the wheel. She passes the finish line at 1 minute an 26 seconds point 999. Dr Love Heart appeared on the screen.

"This isn't over yet, Double NepNep...Oh god...my stomach is killing me....do we have laxatives?" Dr Love Heart got cut off by IF.

"Well done double NepNep.....Neeeep....now report back to headquarters now." IF told the new agent. Neptune arrived at her garage and saw IF sitting in a chair. 

"Good evening Double NepNep...Neep...and congratulations on completing your first mission." IF said.

"Is this my dining room chair?" Neptune asked and sat in her chair.

"Indeed! They were only item in your house not made of latex. They reminded me back at my mother's goat farm."

"Oh nice." Neptune said. "Uh so we're suppose to get a clue or something right?"

"Oh yes! But first I'd like you to meet my new assistant....Combpa." Neptune sees the girl stand next to IF.

"What happened to Kei?" Neptune asked.

"Kii!? I demoted her to mail room duty. Compba...is way more reliable. Aren't you Combpa?

"Yesssss." Compa said.

"Do you have the document? Combpa?"

"Yesssttttsss." Compa suttered.

"It's yes! Do you remember our Lisp training!?" IF takes the document from Compa.

"I'm so sorry...I'm just no nervous." Compa with a whine.

"Have you learned nothing?"

"Ummmm....Yesss?"

"When my feet are cold I wear a pair of-"

"Socks!"

"My chicken nuggets taste great with sweet n sour-"

"Sauce!"

"My favorite candy is-"

"Skittlesssusususs.." IF blows a blow dart into Compa's nose and she went down.

"I personally like salt water taffy. The kind you get at the beach. Not very expensive at all."

"Ok. So what about the clue?" Neptune asked.

"Ah yes! Your first clue." IF said and gave Neptune the document. Neptune opens it and pulls out a heart shaped cookie with a white smiley face on it.

"It's a cookie?" Neptune looked at it.

"Perhaps a fortune cookie! Double NepNep........(Coughs coughs)"

"There's a note." Neptune said and opens the note from the evil woman.

"Hello? Is someone there?" IF looked around as Neptune read the letter out loud.

"If you want Princess Heart back, you're gonna have to do better than that?...what a bitch." Neptune said.

"You know Double NepNep Nep.....Combpa is a good young girl. I was impressed with her the moment I saw her." IF said and looked at knocked out Compa, laying on the floor. Neptune eats the cookie.

"This is good." Neptune said and swallows.

"She's the best girl- HEY! What are you doing!? Don't eat that! We haven't even tested it out yet!"

"Test it for what?"

"Hydrophobia." IF said and Neptune started to shake and choke and fall down. 

"DOUBLE NEPNEP!" IF went to her and pushes on her chest. "RELAX AND CALM DOWN!" IF slaps Neptune. "Double NepNep....think of a happy place. Think of smurfs trying on pants. Think of midgets making candy in a forest. Think of Turkey bacon and how lean it is......Double NepNep...think of happy things"

"Am I gonna die!?" Neptune gagged and crocked.

"I. Don't. Know!" IF said.

* * *

 

**To Be Continued**


	4. Wakeboarding fail!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neptune's next mission.

Neptune woke up and turns over her to the other side of her bed and sees IF, laying next. Neptune and IF scream and Neptune got out of bed. "What the heck are doing in my bed?" She asked.

"You nearly died from the poisonous cookie from Dr Love Heart. But thank goodness I know CPR."

"What?"

"CPR! I nearly failed the certification process because I didn't produce an excess amount of saliva. But lucky enough, you don't have a gag reflex." IF told Neptune. Neptune felt sick and went to the throw up in toilet. IF followed her.

"Oh or heaven's sake! It wasn't that bad. Double Nep Nep. It wasn't that much saliva. Maybe just a cup or two." IF said and Neptune throws up again. "It could've been worse."

"I got to back to bed." Neptune said and stumbled back to her bed.

"Double NepNep...NEP! Dr Love Heart has already challenged you to your next mission!"

"I feel like poo." Neptune said and did not sound so good.

"Princess Heart's life is in your hands!"

"What...do I have to...do?"

"Combpa!" IF snapped her fingers and Compa came out of the closet.

"Yessss?" She asked.

"Bring the next mission." IF said and Compa gave Neptune an IPad and the video loaded up.

"Hello Double Agent Nep Nep. I still have Princess Heart. If you want your next clue...you must travel to beach where you will face off against Wakeboarder Blanc. You will face off in a game of P-I-G goodbye!" Dr Love Heart chuckled and the video ends.

"Is it just me or did Dr Love Heart look different?" Neptune asked IF.

"Of course she changes her appearance. She needs to hide her identity. She's the most wanted in all of Neptunia! Now..have you ever wakeboarded before?"

"No, but it sounds fun."

"Right. I suppose I'll just stay here...with Compba. While you go out and have all the fun."

"You're not suppose to go on the missions are you?" The new agent asked her boss.

"Not necessarily...besides...I spent all my vacation time at the Neptunia zoo." IF replied.

"Isn't that more like a day trip?"

"I suppose I did spend a little to much time with the penguins."

"You can come...I don't care." Neptune said.

"If you insist!" IF smiled and Neptune, IF and Compa drive to the beach for the next mission. They arrive and Blanc walks up to them.

"Who is this?" Neptune asked IF.

"This is agent Blanc. She's been a Neptunia agent for quite some time now." IF responded. Blanc did sign language to them.

"Sign language! Ah yes I remember now. She lost her tongue on her last mission." IF told Neptune.

"Oh. That's horrible." Neptune said. Blanc nodded. Blanc moved her hands around. "What she say now?"

"She said that her mother was part of Hyperdimension civil war. And help lead us to victory against those rebels. But then she died one day."

"Oh...how did she die?" Neptune asked.

"In a very lewd way. Blanc and her sisters get teased by it by the other agents." IF said and whispered into Neptune's ear about the death.

"Oh my! That's so lewd." Neptune shivered. "What an embarrassing way to go."

"Indeed!" IF nods. Blanc did more movements with her hands.

"What's that mean?" Neptune asked.

"She would like for you to buy a pizza for her when she demolishes you in the mission!" IF answered. Blanc went to her spot. "Don't let this girl intimidate you Nep...let's get you suited up." Neptune gets suited up for the track. "Now remember double NepNep...Blanc will perform three tricks. You must mimic then precisely. For every time you fail, you get a letter. If you spell pig. You lose." IF said and her and Neptune watch Blanc move on the water. "I wouldn't worry too much double Nep...Neeep. She's not that good, I've seen her." IF said and Blanc does a trick. "Oh...you're fucked."

Round 1!

Blanc does a spinning trick. "You're up." IF said and walks away. Neptune gets ready and goes. IF cheers her on and Neptune fails. She splashes into the water. "Oh...that was awful." Neptune gets back to the dock and IF helps her. "You can do it Nep Nep! You can take Blanc out. Go go go!"

Round 2!

Blanc goes for the next trick and uses the ramp and does a half twirl and lands. Neptune was up next and she goes to the ramp but slips and hits her face on it and goes into the water. "Oof! That looked nasty..." IF said and looked at Compa. IF gets Neptune back onto the dock. "Listen to me double Nep Nep! Listen to the sound of my voice only! Tell me what you see." Three hot guys with bodies to match come walking onto the dock and Neptune mouth was agape. IF sees them. "No! Don't look at them!" IF slaps Neptune. "Don't pay attention to hot muscular tone bodies...don't do it! Focus on the mission!" Compa waves at the three guys. "Do the guys like Compba?"

Round 3!

Blanc goes for the ramp again and slides on it like a skateboard. She then jumps and back flips into the water with a great landing. She waves at the three guys who wave at her back. "GO NEP NEP! GO!" IF cheered Neptune on and she slides onto the ramp but was too fast and fell into the water.

MISSION FAILED! P-I-G!

"I lost! I lost!" Neptune cried.

"No! Listen to me agent double Nep Nep...Neeep...we're all very proud of you. You know winning isn't everything. Just look at Ultradimension."

Blanc whistles to get Neptune's attention. She does movements with her hands.

"What she saying?"

"Blanc is challenging you to one last contest! One trick. All or nothing! However...if you lose...she gets Combpa." IF said and about 30 seconds later, Blanc was ready. "Combpa...why don't go feed the duckies." IF gives her assistant bread.

"Ok!" Compa cheered and goes to the duckies at the end of the dock.

ROUND 4! All or Compa!

Blanc launches into the air and into the water. She rides and IF pulled out her dart blower. Compa started slipping into the water. IF fires at Blanc and it hits her in the butt. Blanc eyes went wide and she crashes into the water. Compa did as well and hits her head on the dock, knocking her out. Neptune rides and moves around. IF shoots a dart into her butt and she crashes, mimicking Blanc's crashing.

MISSION COMPLETE!

"Congratulations Double Nep...Neeep...On completing your second mission."

"Thanks. It was easy." Neptune said.

"Well it's getting late now. We should head back into town." IF said.

"Uhhh...where's Compa?"

"Oh. She's over here feeding the duckies..." IF looked and saw Compa's hat floating into the water. She looks at Neptune. The two went to a cemetery where Compa was laid to rest. "Well...that didn't go well did it? She was a great girl, Double Nep...Neeeep. Fear not! For she shall join the fallen Goddesses up above. Probably pissing herself on the heavenly gates...well say something for goodness sake!" IF looked at Neptune.

"Umm...I didn't really get to know you...but you seemed like a nice girl." Neptune said.

"Compba...you were a great assistant...and great things never die!...but you did...so....guess you weren't that great after all." IF said and walked around and found a case of chocolates inside a heart.

"I'm going now." Neptune said and walked away. 

"Wait...Double Nep Nep.....I found something" IF said.

"What is it?" Neptune asked.

"Your next clue." IF said and holds up the case of chocolates inside a heart.

* * *

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	5. Zombies!

Neptune and IF return to the garage to open the box of chocolates. Neptune grabbed the box and tried to open it. "Open it slowly...double Nep Nep...NEEP."

"I know I know." Neptune couldn't get the box open. She tired to do it again.

"Don't open it too fast!" IF yelled.

"I know man, relax! I'm working on it. Jeez." Neptune scowls at IF.

"Stop squeezing it so hard! You're gonna rip the cardboard and cut your finger!"

"How about you do it!?" Neptune gives the box to IF.

"Well alright then." IF takes it and blows on it. "Heat makes it expand." IF tried to open the box but couldn't get it. Neptune fights with her to get it back and try to open it. "STOP! This could be an explosive device from Dr Love Heart!" IF sets the heart shaped box down. "I can't afford to lose another girl in my life." IF touches Neptune's face. "Not after what happened to Combpa." IF presses a button on her sunglasses. "Get me Agent Vert now! Shove the relish down her throat, she can handle it."

"Who's that?" Neptune asked.

"She's my weapons detonator disabler. Once she ate an entire exit sign because it said Salida."

"What?" Neptune was confused once more. "Why do you need a weapons detonator disabler?"

"Long story short. I'll never order 300 penguins from China ever again." IF said and Vert made her way. She was holding a corn dog.

"At your service ma'am." Vert said.

"Agent Vert. Meet Agent Neptune."

"Hi." Neptune waved. Vert eats her corn dog.

"Dr Love Heart left us this. We aren't exactly sure about it's contaminants so we've decided to be extra careful." IF said and gives Vert the box of chocolates. Vert sits down and takes the box. Vert opens it and sees a bunch of chocolate pieces. Vert eats a piece.

"Mmm...not that sweet really." Vert said and eats another one. She coughs a bit. IF gasped. Vert was ok and continued eating. "Yeah...not very sweet at all." She eats another and bites into something hard. She pulls out a USB out of her mouth. IF and Neptune went wide.

"What is it agent Vert?" IF asked.

"A USB drive." She replied.

"What do we do with that?" IF asked.

"Allow me." Vert said and puts the USB in between her breasts and a video came up.

"Congratulations on beating the second mission agent double Nep...Neeeep. I still have Princess Heart. But I don't want her anymore! She's so damn annoying! So I'm giving her back! You can find her at this location! She's all yours. Goodbye double agent Nep! It was great working with you! Bye!" The video ends. Vert takes the USB and places it on the table.

"That's it? She's just gonna hand her over?" Neptune asked.

"That's wonderful news!" IF cheered.

"I don't know. It sounds kinda sketchy." Neptune said, and thought that this might be a trap.

"She said it herself. She don't want her anymore. She did bark a lot though." IF said.

"Maybe...just maybe. Dr Love Heart is making a change, for the better." Vert said.

"Yes. Double Nep Nep...listen to Vert."

"All right. I guess I'll go get her." Neptune said and began walking to her car.

"WAIT! You can't rescue Princess Heart looking like that."

"What?"

"If you're going to rescue Princess Heart. You might as well do it in style." IF smirked and Neptune changed into a suit and tie.

"How do I look?" Neptune asked.

"Fantastic as always." IF said and blushed. "Now you really look like a NEPTUNIA...agent. Wouldn't you agree agent Vert."

"Yes. I do agree." Vert smiled.

"Indeed!" IF smiled also. "Now. Go save Princess Heart and don't mess up that suit. It's a rental."

"I won't mess it up." Neptune said and got into her car and drives away.

"The dry cleaning bill is ridiculous here." IF scoffed.

"You shouldn't buy. It's better that way." Vert responded. Neptune drives to her destination...into a forest. Her phone rang and Neptune answers.

"Hello?"

"What do you see?"

"I don't know. It feels like I'm in the middle of nowhere." Neptune responded.

"Ok. Now don't mess up the suit. It belongs to another agent."

"Who?"

"Noire. She'll be mad if you mess it up."

"I won't mess it up."

"Good. I'm sending you the map to where Princess Heart is located. Good luck agent double Nep Nep...Neep." IF said and sends the map. Neptune uses to guide her way into the forest. Zombies were around. Neptune screams and runs away. She tries calling IF but she didn't answer. "Pick up agent IF! Please!" Neptune puts her phone away and peeks and saw more zombies. She decided to make a run for it. She was being chased and running around. Getting Noire's suit dirty. Going into muddy water...sliding down a hill. Neptune pants and collapses on the dirt. A girl zombie walks up to Neptune. She was out and the zombie got closer and closer to Neptune. What next?

* * *

**To be continued!**


	6. Partys Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

Chapter thumbnail:

Neptune woke up and heads back to the garage. She puts Noire's suit on the table. "What's this!?"

"It's that girl's suit." Neptune said.

"What!? Where's Heart?" IF asked.

"Hell if I know!" Neptune complained.

"I thought you were going to get her." IF said.

"I thought so to. But this whole thing was a set up." Neptune told IF as she rose up from her chair. "I was chased by zombies and crap."

"Zombies?" IF looks at Noire's ruined suit.

"Zombies! I knew it was a bad idea but you were more concerned with this suit than me!" Neptune said and was not very happy.

"I'm so sorry double Nep Nep. I don't understand why a sadistic woman like Dr Love Heart would lie to us." IF said and sniffs Noire's shoe.

"You know what? Sorry too. I'm done with this agent stuff. You can go find yourself a new double agent Nep Nep...(Struggles to say Neeeep. Chokes and gags) IF puts her hand on Neptune's face and squeezes her cheeks together and then plugs her nose. She wiggles her finger in her mouth and stops. "Neeeep!" Neptune finally said it.

"Not that easy to say now is it?" IF smirked. Neptune groans. "You don't want to be a quitter now double NepNep...Neeep." IF said the last Nep so easily. "Or should I call you double Nep Nep Nothing?"

"Nobody calls me Double Nep Nep Nothing!" Neptune glares. IF then slaps Neptune. "OW! What the heck IF?"

"Pretty good slap there wasn't it? You know I'm going to miss you when this is all over double NepNep...Neep. One day we're going to look back on this and reminisce about adventures past. We'll tell our children and then tell their great-grandchildren and they'll tell their great-grandchildren so we thought it. It reminds me...of a quote. I shall tell it...with a sign." IF said and walked over to two girls holding guitars. It was Ram and Rom. They started playing. "Somewhere ages and ages ago two roads diverged into one yellow wood and the Neptunia took the road less traveled by...and that...has made all the difference..." IF said and Neptune claps and had a confused look on her face. "Double Nep Nep...meet my personal band...the FU...they're Blanc's sisters."

"You have your own personal band?" Neptune asked.

"Yes! And they're mother's death is still the best death I've ever heard." IF said.

"Forget you IF." Ram said and leaves with Rom. They sign and walk away.

"My god...they're guitars are marvelous." IF said...she then looks at Neptune. "You know life...is such a mystery. It's almost as if the more I know...the less I know...double NepNep...Neeep."

"Ok." Neptune nods.

"Bring her here." IF said and hugs Neptune and Neptune returns it. IF started touching Neptune's hair. "It's so soft. What kind of conditioner do you use? It feels like almonds on the beach."

"Okay! That's enough!" Neptune said and pushes IF off of her.

"Control yourself Double Nep Nep!...so! Back to business...Norie's suit is obviously ruined."

"Well...I can take it to the dry cleaners or something." Neptune suggested.

"No! It's too expensive! Besides it's been through hell. Look at this thing!"

"Well you know, I got to do my laundry later I can always throw it in the wash. Noire won't need to know about this."

"Oh? You're doing laundry?" IF asked.

"Yeah." Neptune said and IF fires a blow dart at her and and Neptune gets shot and wakes up in her laundry room.

Neptune looks around and was confused. She found Noire's suit in the washer and heard someone walking. It was Mana. With a basket of her clothes using the dryer, taking her clothes out of it. Neptune just stared at the Mana as she stares at her back. Mana touches her fake mustache and Neptune went to the garage and found nothing. No IF, no car. What was going on? She went for her laptop and search up chocolates. She found a article about three dead from Chocolate poisoning. Kei, Compa and Vert were the three that died. Neptune's eyes went wide and she goes to her pantry to find the box of chocolates opened. She takes it to dump it outside. But before she could she sees her car. Noire was driving it. Neptune stared at her in confusion. Two girls bump into Neptune. It was Uni and Aika. What the? They get in the car with Noire and she drives away with them. Neptune drops the box of chocolates and looked around frantically. She saw the missing dogoo sign of Princess Heart. She sees her sister, Nepgear walking the pink dogoo. Neptune was freaking out and went back to her place, takes off her clothes...burns them and gets in the shower and cries. Neptune gets out and gets her towel and dries her hair. She looks into the mirror and wipes off the fog from it...her face is white with red markings on it. She gasped. "Aw shit." She said and soon fell down dead. Turns out, Neptune had ate the chocolate like Vert did and got poisoned. After getting hit with the blow dart she started to hallucinate. It was too late. Neptune was dead.

IF was outside and turns around. Was IF behind all of this? Who knows. Maybe a season 2?

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**The End.**


End file.
